Snoink

So! The question is when will there be a raunchy sex make up scene between you-know-who. But really! They're such a cute couple together. Too bad both of them have ...

Thanks for all your comments guys! :D I've edited it to your suggestions for the most part. Sureal>> Nice proofreading! I tend to miss words (I found A LOT of ...

The red man's hand says no but the white man says yes so with a flex of my sneakers I walk with the cars trying to find my way home. ...

Look for "Teenz that are Crazy!!" that's the storybook I manipulated. :)

I would play with the spacing a little bit so that each line had a syllable count that was six, almost as if you had eighth note 3/4 pattern. :) ...

It needs something else. In the greatest love stories of all time, there is always conflict that separates the lover from the loved one by some way. There seems to ...

The second stanza is definitely the best. Yay for physics! But... the others lack something. Try injecting less information of the narrator and see what happens.

This is too... narrative. What is the underlying meaning of this poem? You see, it doesn't have one, or if it does, its meaning is so weak that it doesn't ...

This is clever! You're talking about tweezers, aren't you? :) But really, I adore the imagery of the crow. Really fascinating stuff here! I would probably fix some of the ...

I just want to point out that this was written 3.5 years ago and Elelel really doesn't care anymore about this poem. ;) With that said: OMG, THIS POEM WAS ...

The problem with this poem is that it doesn't have any conflict. You keep on repeating how this man is your man, yet the reader is unaware why this man, ...

The lack of punctuation seems really odd. I don't know how to punctuate, so you'll have to figure that out, but yay? How my father sighs when the ink from ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D This may sound silly, but I think this would really be cool if it were completely soppy. Right now, it's slightly detached and while ...

She walked out onto the street And saw that all was ash And no photographs were made. All the lights were sleeping And flowers bled from her palms. She spoke ...

You need to say that the person is searching for love quickly, or else the reader will be confused. ;) But still. This poem is slightly boring because you're telling ...