Snoink

Hmm... I don't really find it interesting that she has a secret that she's keeping from the guy who she supposedly (shallowly?) loves. It just... not that interesting. It's not ...

The rhythm is good but... it doesn't really say anything. Are these the only thoughts that go through your head as you think about this sort of stuff? I don't ...

You're only describing the physical conditions of loneliness. The eyes closed shut, the empty room are all physical manifestations of loneliness. All right. But we need to know what the ...

Change the ending so that we know why the break up happened and why she got with his best friend. Right now, it's too vague in that regard, so the ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I shall hopefully be helpful, maybe. I think. Okay! First poetic lesson: when writing poetry, you must constantly ask yourself, "Why am I writing this?" and ...

Get rid of the repetition--it adds nothing to your poem. Really. With that said, I like the metaphor you use with the sea of people. :) I think it would ...

This is a horribly creepy poem. Seriously. It sounds like a stalker wrote who is going to stalk the poor girl for a long, long, time. I would run away ...

I'm pretty sure that you might like some certain fantasies besides Philip Pullman's. ;) I'm glad your memory stick was saved from evident death. That would be... terrible. :(

Take my words and twist them around your body, a tutu for your naked flesh, and spin around, your toe grinding into my brain as you leap from your perfect ...

But WATCHING a video? Suerly they wouldn't track down every person who watched it? That doesn't change the fact that it is illegal. If you wanted to be perfectly legal, ...

Cute! :D I would change this: “You say ‘so’ a lot.” “Focus!” this: “You say ‘so’ a lot.” “So focus!” But yeah! I liked this a lot. Very cute. :) ...

We tolerate all written works, as long as it's not plagiarized and stuff. Just make sure you use good grammar and spelling. ;) Otherwise, it will sound very weird when ...

I'm so sorry. This sort of stuff should never happen, yet it does. But you aren't alone. Really. I had a similar thing happen to me at work with another ...

that like a new pokemon from a new pokemon series? Or did you just make him up? His first appearance was in the Emerald game. :)

Second's one slightly better because it includes some character, but both are rather boring since it's just a bunch of names and descriptions of something that seems so fake. There ...