Snoink

Hey Tangent! I love most of this, as you probably guessed! Not as much as I love you, of course, but that's asking the impossible, no? :) The one thing ...

The imagery of the cadavers, the orgies, the techno... I loved how you basically used all these senses to your advantage and really made it nightmarish! Very nice! Plus, it ...

Aw, losing someone always sucks! And grieving, even if it's essential, is never fun. :( For your poem, you may consider taking out the repetitious line, "try being me" since ...

Hey bigwords! :D Mwha. I guessed from your critiques that your poetry would be lovely... and what do you know? I'm right! :D Anyway, my main comment is that the ...

Hey Fade! :D First of all, this is a pretty twisted poem, lol. It's like... they love each other, but they want to hurt each other? I am not sure ...

Teehee, this is a bit of a tongue twister! :D Anyway, my one main comment is that the second to last stanza seems out of place... I would actually make ...

Hey Jeanette! Aww... sisters who drift away from each other! Always a sad thing! Anyway, I agree with the several people who said that that one line is repetitious and ...

Hey Isabella! :D This may just be me, but I think I would do without this prologue and just dive into the action in the first chapter! I mean, come ...

Awww, it sucks when dogs die. :( They become more than friends really quickly... they're beautiful creatures and lovely companions! The only way I can figure it is they die ...

Hello again, Captian! :D I think this poem sounds like thinly disguised whining, if that makes sense. That is, you're invisible but sometimes people notice you, but it's not for ...

Hey Harmony! :D One thing I would suggest is to put something concrete in here! That is, you have a lot of abstract concepts introduced in here from discoveries to ...

Hey Ceres! :D The main complaint is this seems like one disjointed poem connected with a full poem! Basically? The first stanza doesn't really fit with the rest of the ...

Hey Poe! You like a good poet. ;) Anyway, as far as this poem goes, I found this very very abstract... cripplingly so! You delved on the problems with the ...

Hey Captian! :D I definitely agree with ireylcadence here! You are telling quite a bit! I think this poem would be a lot better if you took just one of ...

Hey JustDance! :D I think this might actually work as a story better! :D What this is missing, for both the story and for the poem, is why this is ...