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Re: A Life I Didn't Need
Hey sillyducky! Right now, this seems more like a blog than a poem, if that makes sense. Like, you have all your thoughts down and you're trying to make sense ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Does Snoink Sleep?
What color star is next? xD Twelve more critiques and you'll find out! :D
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Being a Teenager
Oy, you don't have to quote everybody's critique. A nice thank you PM or a post on our walls or a gift would be good enough. :) Anyway, for the ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: The Dueler / Salute
LOL! What a boisterous rake, eh? :) I'm already writing your elegies.
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Limitless imagination
Hey ratdragoon! :) I have to admit... I'm kind of a sucker for science poems too. This poem kind of reminded me of the Learned Astronomer... I think that's the ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Of Lumas
Eh... it's very... cheesy? I would like to see less COLOR (stanza full of facts) and more poetry. Right now it seems more like an instruction manual than a poem, ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: BROTHERS
Hey iamjemo! :D I think you need to have more concrete things in this poem. Most of this poem contains almost completely abstract concepts, such as bonds, circumstance, adventures, home, ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: The Sorcerer's Emporium of Enchanted Objects
Hey aidyl, nice story! I do like the characterization a lot... Viya has just the right amount of sass and I love how she handles the guy. The comb is ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Does Snoink Sleep?
I'm not actually done today. I have to do about 24 more, according to my calculations.
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Does Snoink Sleep?
What's sleep?
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Jars of Stars
GAH! Did I mention how much I loved your poetry? The first four lines are UTTERLY ADORABLE. I mean, how cute can you possibly get? *flails in cuteness* I think ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: The Best Thing About you
Mwha! I was wondering whether you were still taking critiques on this! :D So, basically, I think most of the descriptions here rely on adjectives, and that kind of bugs ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Three Poems I wrote this year
LOL. I totally read this as one poem. I think it kind of fits together as one poem though... I like the disjointedness of it all! :D -Softly, he whispered ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: I am ROME
Hey Kevo! I found this piece... really scattered, actually! It felt like you just wrote whatever came out of your head and you didn't bother editing at all! Flow of ...
Jun 25, 2010 -
Re: Gradual Storms
Gah, Yoha! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND YOUR AWESOME POEMS! Anyway! I think the first stanza is unnecessary, so I would cut that out. :) Also! This line: ...
Jun 25, 2010
