Snoink

Hey desire! You seem very vivacious... it's a good thing you're here! :) You'll be happy to know that we have a section open for art as well as writing. ...

Becca! It's good to have you here! :) I'm one of those ever-elusive people in green that people keep talking about, so if you need any help, just bug me. ...

We still love you!

Hey Flower! :D Eek! It sucks having friends who want to commit suicide... trust me, I know. And it's absolutely terrifying to try to talk them out of it. On ...

I knew what you were writing about. It was just poorly executed. :P Specific advice? 1. Kill the adjectives. Your poem pretty much relies on those things to get any ...

Please keep comments considerate! :) I don't quite like this. You're using Christian imagery to evoke an erotic nature except... there is nothing Christian about this. Which makes it really ...

Gah! I love the beginning so much that it hurts. If I read the beginning from the bookstore, I would totally get it. Totally. This is awesome. This is where ...

Woo! I love it when people use these little nursery rhymes o their advantage in literature! It's always awesome... always! :D Anyway, just one thought... if the little girl is ...

And he was dead. His body lay face up in the mud, his eyes wide, and his legs splayed. He looked surprised and, if it weren't for the deep wound ...

Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a heartbreak, Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a mistake, Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way! ...

JACK IS AMAZING. Enough said.

Jack will probably hate me for this, but there should only be four red stars at 1150, not five. :P

Very nice hook! You are quite the writer now, aren't you? ;) I think Viviel is right... this does seem too short! Also, I think that he falls in love ...

Hey Sakura! This seemed to be less of a poem and more of a collection of proverbs or cliches. Not that proverbs or cliches are a bad thing (they aren't) ...

Awwww... a cute love story! I would probably get rid of the first paragraph... I like to be dumped into stories, so I would rather be sucked in with the ...