Snoink

Aha, the whole pawn situation! I didn't really like it, lol. It was kind of obvious, too obvious for my tastes, and it held a bunch of cliched images. The ...

Denia! I love your first stanza! It's clipped and short and strange and beautiful all at once. Love the talk of Jupiter... it reminds me of Roman mythology! And the ...

Hello Warrior Princess! :D Okay! So first of all, I am a major science geek. XD Anyway, when I was reading your poem, I was first looking for the end ...

Hey Kylan! Your poem is amazing, but I think you knew this already! Anyway, something in the picture caught my eye and you didn't actually mention it in the poem... ...

Hi! First off, a little nitpick I found: For most, they will be able to bear it, but (for some) it will be the start of emptiness that will never ...

This is definitely the stronger part of the story! The ending is particularly interesting. I do think it's weird that he doesn't recognize his character at first, or wonder, "Hmm, ...

I agree with Kyllorac! The word choice was a little off. Make sure you straighten it out! Also, what was especially strange was your combination of a euphemism with a ...

Hi Fantasy! I'm not quite feeling this poem. I mean, it seems mostly like this poem is an excuse to talk say "blank-taker" over and over again. Why does it ...

Hi Persephoneia! :D One thing that I noticed was that this poem really wasn't that confident! Like, you had this metaphor that you wanted to run with, but it seemed ...

Hahaha... YWS is cheating on you with me. Just so you know! ;) My main critique would be that you mentioned this in the beginning: "Your involvement in my life ...

Yay, the Aztecs! Very interesting peoples! A couple of things... I wouldn't use "tiger" since that's not indigenous to that area. Maybe panther or leopard or something else? Also, I ...

Hi jas! :D This was a really sweet story! Well... a letter, really, but it told a sweet story. It kind of reminded me of Taylor Swift's song, You Belong ...

Your first sentence rocks on so many levels. Anyway! The main thing that I could see was that there are two main parts of your story. The humorous half and ...

Welcome to the Storybook Forum! This is YWS' answer to roleplay: a style of collaborative writing that can be a game for some and a serious project for others. In ...

Welcome to Roleplay Duos! This is the place to go to if you want to do any dual-authorships with our members. Along with the regular rules of YWS, we have ...