Snoink

Oh dear! The prologue is awesome! It reminds me of the first LOTR movie, where Gladriel is talking over... And it's so oralstorylike as well! And the idea is so ...

Yes but... I like hanging around the young writers. XD They're fun to be around! :)

Which stories and poems are your favorites on YWS? Note: don't be offended if you aren't picked; don't get arrogant if you are picked. Remember: glory fades.

Okay... a new twist. For the person above you, find one work you think is interesting and crit it. Then so on, so forth... Don't critique the story here... just ...

^ Commented, just as I changed the sig. XD I wanna come up with a list of phenominal writing with some of the best stuff on YWS. :?

^ Is in my new storybook. ;)

I like fire and ice better. For a beginner, this is good.

Oh yes, that's true. The general rule is, don't submit more than a couple of chapters online on a writing forum, unless that forum is very small and protected from ...

XD Why should you feel sorry for me feeling the way I did? If it is meant to be hated, you did a good job, lol! Just fix that one ...

Hehe! I've been thinking about it for awhile now, and this has turned into one of my favorite poems on YWS. :) And it takes a lot for me to ...

In this case, just because this seems to be a more classical piece of writing, I would rhyme it. The metering, in this case, wouldn't be as important as the ...

I agree with Yoshi. Capitalization is a must, especially here. It looks unreadable without it. Sometimes you can get away with not capitalizing, but in this case, no.

I don't know... The rhyming seems sloppily done. At first, you try, but then the rhyming gets increasingly more chaotic as the poem goes on. Plus, the metering seems way ...

"I hadn't sought to create a legend, but nor had a believed to see myself one." This sentence makes no sense. :? I'm not quite sure what you're trying to ...

His humor is a little tricky to catch though, lol. I'm reading Oliver Twist now though. :P