Snoink

Nobody posted on this...? Well, I'll be the first then. First of all, this had a lot of dialogue. Dialogue is used to move the story and make it interesting. ...

lol, it was an April Fools joke organized by... I think it was Snoink? I deny all knowledge... Congrat Nate! This place is awesome. :)

The lines felt fragmented, but I think that helped you more. Instead of it flowing smoothly, painting a distinct picture, it ended up being jerky -- perfect for a puzzle. ...

I don't know... the beginning reminds me of a limerick, but it isn't one. Perhaps if you edit it a little bit, you can make it a limerick? It might ...

Yep. It's good. I agree... the rhyming really increases the ironic effect. It's kind of fun, in that regard. I mean, not really but... The last line is especially awesome. ...

I liked the poem, even though it probably was extremely clichéd, etc., etc. Why? Because it reminded me of my childhood. You see, when I was little, I thought that ...

Hehe! Just read it (finally) and I liked it. :D There were some grammatical errors in it, but I've gone over those grammar errors in several of your stories and ...

I have to agree with the others. It's not really the rhyme that gets me, but the lack of startling imagery. For example, I could write something like: "Tears cascaded ...

His eyes squinted. I would say his eyebrows furrowed, except he didn’t really have any. At all. People said that he had lost them in a super galactic war. They ...

Oh, and for those who are wondering, this is Warthog In A King Prawn Suit. :D

An example of a problem, please? :D

What's the point of this poem? A grammar issue: no mammals on its face

Dark orange sucks. The orange isn't orangey enough! I think a dark version of YWS Standard would be bomb. I did have dark orange up for Halloween though, LMAO! :D

Give more verbose descriptions for an ironic effect.

XD