Smoo

This is a silly story, so I don't expect hardcore reviews... but you should review nonetheless! --- Prologue: Drawing the Short Straw: I Got a Rock Hades’ story starts before ...

Cool concept, with the dual personalities, but it was extremely confusing! You kept using "I" for two people, and I couldn't keep up with who was talking at what point. ...

Hmm... Alright, I'm a little confused as to the politics... So there's obviously several clans, but only one rules the country, and a tournament decides the head clan. Interesting. I ...

I don't really like the first paragraph, but I added it anyway because the story seemed to hasty without it. What do you guys think? ---- Look to the sky ...

I like it! I can't resist a story about a boy and his dog. You used especially good imagery and word choice. It makes for a believable mood considering the ...

I find making some sentences more terse can help; not too much, just in the exceptionally climactic moments. Purposeful repetition is also good, like "carefully... oh so carefully...". These just ...

Nice start, laying out the main character's feelings, however, she seems a bit shallow. Some complaints... In the second sentence, you used the word "drunkenly". I'm not even sure if ...

The name's smoo (please don't ask what it means... I'm not all that sure myself). I'm just another writer here, hoping to get some good tips and further my writing ...