Shasta

You're probablly right. One thing's for sure, my second stanza certainly seems to be the worst. Oh, and when I say "So is the world, I think again" I'm referring ...

A flash of gold, A glint of steel, And I behold, Those eyes, so real. A sudden lift, Of bright bronze wings, He seems to drift, And then he flings, ...

I liked it, but I do think that the single rhyme in the last stanza really interupted the flow. I think if you changed the poem so it didn't rhyme ...

That's a very interesting poem. It could be interpreted multiple ways, not one of them without interest. Except for those who would see it as it is. For instance, a ...

I think removing the rhyming made the poem sound more consistent and together. You could have left it and really altered a few lines, but I wasn't sure you would ...

That was good. I'm not sure what the rhyming was, though. It was kind of inconsistant and sparce. Personally, I think you would do just as well to remove the ...

I thought this was an excellent piece! The concept, the pattern, the word choice, I thought it all was well done. There was one mistake I noticed. You said "Were ...

No, problem! I think it turned out nicely.

Thanks!

Another poem meant to inspire! Hope you enjoy! Through the green of woods I wander, In world of shade and dappled sun. There is much I often ponder, Like leaves ...

I agree with everyone else. The rhyming patterned worked pretty well throughout most of the poem. Sometimes it's fine to have corresponding rhyming lines off by a syllable and it ...

Oh, I wouldn't have worried about the number of syllables. That rule really only matters if you're trying to rhyme. Of course, it can add an interesting style to non-rhyming ...

Thanks for commenting! (I caught the error!) This is not the point of view the whole story is written from. It wouldn't fit as the first part of chapter one ...

It was late spring and the forest was full of life. Otters played in the streambed, squirrels chased each other, a bronze deer bowed its head to drink, and from ...

I think this is very good. The style is kind of short and repetative, but I think that's fine. Still, you probably won't be able to stick with this sort ...