Shadowsun

Whens the next bit? I really want to know what happens next! Please! Tell me! Anyways. I can't find anything wrong with it. ~ Shadowsun :D

Ah... I feel sorry for Kai, he's practically lost verything hasn't he? Anyway, I can't find anything wrong with it apart from: They shot another bolt into his chest, but ...

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Well, since you asked. It's very good, I can find very little wrong with it, and the ending was fantastic! Although, you don't tell us what he's thinking and feeling ...

Granted! But you're hounded day and night by reporters, photographers and crazy fans. I wish that I have another book to read...

Ooo! Dragons! Nothing is complete without them :D. Apart from the little typos it's really good! ~ Shadowsun :D

Ooo. Mercenarys with wings, very new idea. Origional :D. Apart from the typo problem everyone else has mentioned it's really good. ~ Shadowsun :D

I can only echo what everyone else has said. The first bit needs changing because it's a bit rushed and the story is a bit short but overall it is ...

Granted! But you write it badly. I wish that I own a copy of Deus Sanguinius.

I said I would, so I will. It's not like any other piece of poetry I've read so I like it. It's origional and unique. :) That's good. I can't ...

8/10 Still the cool, wierd rabbits.

Blue = Change Green = Suggestion It grabbed the gun and began to shoot across the Running soldiers Get rid of the capital Doesn't sound right. add an 'at' so ...

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I've changed a few things and now I'm ready to post the next part. ----- Chapter 1 - Broken Bonds Part 2 His ...

France (Vive la France!)

:D Thats BRILLIANT!!! :D ~ Shadowsun :D