-
Re: Blind, Bound, Bleeding.
Blind, Bound, Bleeding. Red hot pain removed my eyes; I am Blind. Burning coarse ropes bind my wrists behind, bind my ankles together, hold my flesh unkindly; I am Bound. ...
Aug 1, 2007 -
Re: My Harp
Now now, I didn't scold and belittle -your- poem Cornelius, I complimented it as having a good -idea-, just the way it was written was a bit off. And judging ...
Jul 20, 2007 -
Re: God-breathed
I didn't get it. I didn't really like it either, some parts are good but... Yeah, I'm not one of the religious sort, but to me 'god-breathed' seems a bit ...
Jul 18, 2007 -
Re: My Harp
Edited. And the double -- thingies is sort of like a hitch in the sentence, more than a ; but not a : its...where it changes subject slightly, but not ...
Jul 16, 2007 -
Re: My Harp
So that should be a warning that this isn't an exactly polite poem, but by far it isn't as crude as his, not as...coarse in the language. I just wanted ...
Jul 16, 2007 -
Re: The Dragon Knight Legacy Chapter 2 (Remake)
Written earlier, but oddly enough, much better than your chapter four. A much better fight scene, well done. My only problem is the reference to March and January. For me, ...
Jul 6, 2007 -
Re: The Dragon Knight Legacy Chapter 4 (Remake)
Ugh, okay. First off, the level of ...shall we say events that occured in this -one- chapter should rightly be spread across about three, at least. In my opinion, the ...
Jun 29, 2007 -
Re: Child, Child
I like it, and just to be different and argue with people, I wouldn't change a thing...although it was the last two/three lines that made me like it. For me, ...
Jun 29, 2007 -
Re: Caffeine-Induced Hallucination
Hrm...this is...um. I'm not quite sure how to critique it or anything of the sort. It doesn't have a rhythm (How I hate that word! I'm never sure how to ...
Jun 29, 2007 -
Re: The Future
Thanks. I'll try to rewrite the introduction and all... could you give me an example perhaps of why, and where, it needs editing? Ta SS
Jun 28, 2007 -
Re: Song of Wind and Sea
It was um....yes. um. Some parts are good, others are -really- bad...like, the first 3/4 of the second massive stanza thing. That's the main part I didn't like, ironically, the ...
Jun 22, 2007 -
Re: The Future
It’s a time beyond memory, a time beyond reason. A time where the good guys are allied with the bad guys and the bad guys are just wrong. When every ...
Jun 22, 2007 -
Re: Piracy Upon the Sea
"Figures." Alasani muttered, struggling out of the cargo net that was currently keeping a very stubborn grip around her legs. Several minutes later she's just as badly tangled, but upside ...
Jun 19, 2007 -
Re: The Yerrida - Before the Laori snatch her off
Well written, in the majority, and considering that I haven't read anything else apart from this one scene, fairly good character developement, of Aine at least. One minor complaint though, ...
Jun 18, 2007 -
Re: Piracy Upon the Sea
Could I join? And if not, like Jasmine said, ignore my bio. Name: Alasani (last name forgotten) Age: 15 Appearance: Scrawny, a tiny tyke with short cropped black hair, wavy, ...
Jun 13, 2007
