Shadow_doubt

I appreciate the criticism, and haven't been on the site in a while, so my styles changed a lot. But, Sohini, you seem like a traditionalist. This poem was never ...

Thankyou both of you *winces at the word butchered* I've tried to sort it out. Is this any better?: Slender river of thine eye, Glides thy cheek with deepest sigh. ...

I agree with the other two- you have Jaques down to a T within a page- that's often very difficult to do. I already feel like I know the tone ...

This is just a really random thing I wrote- you might not believe it but it's about being in an exam and the description of my school Hall. hehehe enjoy ...

Amen to what Fand said plus my own little peace: It shown so very bright. Shouldn't 'shown' be shone? You're last stanza seemed a little out of rhythm, but I ...

I love this poem- the metaphor you've created is so perfect. It really helps the imagery along. I only have one revision: I was there towards summer, when I began ...

It's very good. it kept me hooked, so your suspense held out which is excellent. My problem was that you would occasionally repeat your description- which i don't like. For ...

A flower. Ha. Insignificant- correct? Pointless beauty in a world of war games. Bold poppies, gushing in red- Flanders- The bloody flowers spilling forth between icy lips. Lilies. Gentle bloom, ...

Slender river of thine eye, Down thy pale cheeks thou cry. Are thou the essence of the dark? Or song of thine own bitter lark? Sweet softness of thy pale ...

I have seen stronger imagery in other poems, but it's still very very good. The contradiction of what we see and what the character sees really shows through, and for ...

Shakespeare Coursework ‘The Taming of the Shrew’ [Mel, the director, is sitting on the floor, sipping at a steaming mug of black coffee, in her studio. She flicks through ‘The ...

Please tell me if this is any better: Lying alone, pale as the moon, Thought she was safe but spoke too soon. Quivering, shivering, curled up in fear, Awaiting that ...

So this is a poem I worte a while back, it's my first poem on this site: Lying alone, pale as the moon Thought she was safe but spoke too ...

Wow- I'm amazed if that really is your first poem. You've used excellent and unusual description- I like it a lot. Keep it coming.

I think it's a good poem. It seems like the beginning is a clam tone with a quiet plea and at the end is more of a desperate instruction- and ...