Shadow_Thief13

Beautiful, man! I just love the history of wars but hate them in the real world. When I was like 3, I remember the gunshots while I was on a ...

Finally! I was getting way to impatient. I don't know why you say this probably wouldn't be to good but I loved it. :D Forgot whatever the guy's name above ...

Wait a sec... Moe, you're not really her sister are you? Well anyways, real or not, that was some real drama girl! I'm not much of a grammer correcter or ...

So not as good as the first one. :cry: Oh well, hopefully there will be more of a eye capture in the next one. Or else... :twisted: ST

I'm not going to do the grammar critique because everyone else pretty much covered that. This was the best thing I've ever read on here. To me even better than ...

I really loved reading your prologue. But I did notice a few typos. Can't really remember where exactly, plus I'm not always the most helpful. Anyways, keep up the good ...

I'm with Adnamarine and Seraph on this. Otherwise it's really good. I look forward to reading more of your literature. :P Shadow :wink:

Umm... you should probably shorten it a little, because that is waaay too long and gets on people nerves sometimes :?. Otherwise your story is captivating. :)

A few typos but that was amazing. It probably is'nt very important but I'd like an image in my mind from the story. Most people do. The story held within ...

I was entranced by your story. My only concern is...the picture. I couldn't quite grasp what the characters looked like. Detail is needed for a feeling possessed image. But otherwise ...