Shadow_Thief13

Coolio! I thought this was great! One thing though that you might want to correct is: sending adrenalin surging. That's repetition right there. Get rid of the sending or the ...

This was really good, but you should read it aloud to find all your mistakes. Also, the ending just didn't work for me, sorry, but that's just my opinion. You ...

Waaaaaaah, poor kitty :cry: :cry: :cry: . Sorry, can't stop crying, I'm a sucker for cats... All corrections are above me it seems so I don't need to do anything ...

I thought this was o.k but it needs work. Everything I was going to say is right above me. And I've never read [i]Twilight, so alls good her about copyright ...

Beautiful, man! I just love the history of wars but hate them in the real world. When I was like 3, I remember the gunshots while I was on a ...

Finally! I was getting way to impatient. I don't know why you say this probably wouldn't be to good but I loved it. :D Forgot whatever the guy's name above ...

Gryphon's right, but you do have great detail though. If it's going to be continued, put a note a the bottom. And the ending wasn't that...I don't know...intriguing as the ...

Wait a sec... Moe, you're not really her sister are you? Well anyways, real or not, that was some real drama girl! I'm not much of a grammer correcter or ...

Here's a tip for ya Valor. What I do is imagine what the character likes to do or right down parts of the story from his/her point of view. Write ...

I just got this book called...Blade of Fire! I just read the first page and I'm already captivated :D . It's book two of the series Icemark Chronicles. The first ...

Kay everyone, I have updated! Pleeeeease read and review! I only have one out of like thirty right now... :cry: Pleeeeeeeeeasssssssssse :?: :!:

So not as good as the first one. :cry: Oh well, hopefully there will be more of a eye capture in the next one. Or else... :twisted: ST

I'm not going to do the grammar critique because everyone else pretty much covered that. This was the best thing I've ever read on here. To me even better than ...

I liked this a lot, but it could use some work. You might want to check where your commas go though. And add more beat or feeling into it. Overall ...

Please R&R. Thanks:D. Lost and Discovered Prologue (part 1): Alvr sat impatiently. Fifty thousand years he had waited to be free. Twenty thousand years since he had been isolated to ...