SeraphTree

Just a couple of things. The part where he meets the Tor in the woods is a little confusing. Just a little clarification. :) The part where he says something ...

There are a few run on sentences, and in the beginning it's hard to tell who is the narrator. Also, things are happening a little fast, and there aren't enough ...

Things are a little confusing, mostly because there aren't enough details. Why would lyle hate man so much, when he was a man himself? Is the fox a symbol of ...

Interesting..... my first thought is the moon but that's not exactly a normal object..... :D You should probably put this in the poetry section :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I really liked your work. I can't think of any mistakes, except maybe the teacher was a little too... unrealistic. I liked what you did with her though. This story ...

Ah...... green is a lovely color....... ^-^v Yes, well, there were a couple of things I noticed. First, things are moving a bit to fast, and in the beginning it's ...

Okay. First, you need to slow down. So many things are happening, and so many people are introduced that it gets really confusing. These "friends" that Evan has, don't seem ...

Thanks everyone ^-^V All your advice was helpful. -.-" Yeah..... 'mortal' was a typo too. Now I keep thinking of a mortal and pistol XD Um, I haven't read the ...

Sorry about the spacing everyone.-.-" This is the fisrt part of my story. I opened my eyes, taking in my new surroundings at once. I could see that I was ...

I like your imagery. Your first sentence really grabbed my attention and made me want to keep reading. With the father and son, I got two things running in my ...

The language you used is very beautiful, especially with the part when he is dancing. Also, writing in 2nd person is unique. ^-^ There's a bit of conflict with the ...

Your story is interesting, but there are a few things that are confusing. First, his owner says something about a makeover. Is she talking about herself or Felix? It's a ...

This is the first 4 pages of my story. I don't know what else to say ^-^v I opened my eyes, taking in my new surroundings at once. I could ...

Okay I don't know if this will help at all, but this is basically what I was trying to write. I think it fits your character pretty well: The Verve ...

Hmmmmmm........ here's a random idea: Strick whirred around, gazing at the reflections of himself in the mirrors. There was Lusie, pressing herself against the glass, her violet eyes hopeful. There ...