SeraphTree

I've never heard of Twilight.... so... I'll just crit now -.-" It was supposed to be a normal, average Tuesday. And it was. Until I saw him BOM BOM!!!!!!!!!! Ah, ...

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D It's cute, but it needs a point. We have no background, bla bla bla.... :) The whole jimmi: Leif: takes away some of the jokes. Rewrite and repost. :D:D:D:D:D

Hmmm... We don't have very many details to go off of. The hit of her going to boarding school doesn't really hit us because of it. :( Oh, what is ...

If there is nothing wrong with his work then why post it? He obviously wanted someone to critique it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Maybe you should stop making crude remarks and give the ...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are funny Ayra. I suck at grammer. I'll leave that to you :D:D:D:D:D Alright Fangala. I agree with Ayra with the rushed bit. Also..... :) You have a ...

You're using too much description. It's hard to see your point because there's so much of it. I also suggest that you break this post into two, that way you ...

As always, I am here to help. V^o^V Heh.... Thank you for your compliment. ^-^ I'm never good at the grammatical things, so usually stay away from them. :D:D:D:D:D:D Why ...

Hm. What I first noticed is that your story sounds suspiciously like Mulan... :) Ling... Ping... :D:D Your names sound Chinese, not Japanese. I suggest you research the ways and ...

V^o^V Good to hear from you!!! I always thought your story was interesting. :D:D:D:D I readjusted the Shield, moaning softly as it cut into my shoulderblades. Why didn’t I just ...

Sorry to read it backwards. I just realized that it was part six a little too late :( Hm. Putting Nightmare in the stable is a bad idea. It would ...

Okay.... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but here it goes:( : The rich girl's limo pulled into the stable yard once again. This time it was ...

Okay, the reason you haven't gotten any crit's is because this is WAY too long. Break it up into some smaller posts. That will help. :D:D:D:D

Holy moo, dude, this is WAY too long! Break your post into smaller bits, and people will crit :D ^o^V

WHOA.... Your language is very, VERY stilted. Cut out some unneeded details, like the description of the bow. The arrow flew straight and true, it entered the running mans neck ...

:smt027 scary warrior lady :) Hm. What I first notice is that you use alot of similies. You should cut back on those, and add a little more detail and ...