SeraphTree

Uh, the arguing people were suposed to be the angel/devil thing. :D (I don't know why those popped up) :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

MONKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is better, but there are still a few things :mrgreen: ** She sat upon a mighty, noble steed. She looked as though she hadn't slept for years. H

It's hard to keep the story straight. There is no main character, which makes it difficult to follow. We need some more details and background. Thats the only thing I ...

Well, you don't have to reveal it now, you CAN reveal it later. :D Just have her react differently, like she's not phased at all by his "Where's Darke Street?" ...

This is a poetic response (this is not meant to be critted): Spirit ** Many wander the path, You think you tread alone. Don’t conceal this wrath- Don’t stumble on ...

The cold winter air blew through the quiet town, making the snow covered trees quiver violently. A hooded figure jogged down a street, making no noise at all. With a ...

Thank you all for your crits. I will clarify and give more background :D

2. Then you have this guy come up to her with The Killer Unicorn, and he seems unfazed? Instead of the Unicorn and her horse, there was good looking dark ...

“First of all, let’s get a couple things straight. I am not a unicorn. So please stop thinking of me as one. Second, you need to come with me.” I ...

Please crit :D:D:D:D:D:D ** “You killed my horse.” The unicorn looked up at her, licking it’s chops. Liesl gazed back, painfully aware of the creature’s predatory eyes. It yawned, then ...

I must say, it is rather refreshing to hear something like this. :D As Kitty said, we need to know some background. For instance, whe does the main hate her ...

Hmmm... there were a couple of things that bothered me... :) The crisp chill of the air sent shivers down her spine as she stared at the pristine scene before ...

Hmmm... I should probably crit your work, since I am your friend. :D:D:D:D Sorry it took so long :(:(:(:(:( “For once, mom, will you just listen to me?” Evelyn shouted ...

Hmmm... having the flashbacks, and the tale would be too obvious. Have one or the other. If you want your characters to have a sense of humor, put them in ...

No problem. :D:D:D:D I understand. Just add some action. that's all. :D:D :smt068 :smt063 :smt035 :D:D