SeraphTree

Please clarify. It sounds like rape/forced relationship, but we have very few details. We have NO idea what's going on. Details please. :D

Your climax was good- really grabbed me. :D The first half was a little slow, and your imagery was rather confusing. I couldn't tell if they were going to be ...

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about ;) The thing is, we need more details here. :D There's no way to explain that feeling in my stomach This sounds ...

I agree with all previous statements. :D I love you. And I lust after you. Okay, THIS^^^^^^^^^ is giving two contradictory images. HOW can you both love and lust after ...

It's good. At first, I thought it was going to be a bit preachy, but it's good :D:D:D:D I suggest you get into depth with this. Repeating "God knew that ...

Oh... I'll see what I can do :D:D:D:D:D:D

Thanks! :D:D:D:D *Seraph cheers*

The Thorn * She is lovely, the thorn in my side. She keeps me from slipping by the wayside. * Through the storms of life, We pass together Bound with ...

Intersting. A bit confusing, but interesting. "I'm Brooke," the girl whispered into Nightmare's ear as if she could define the human words. Brooke gently stroked Nightmare's black coat, back and ...

I suggest you take out the 'Hector: Jesus:' part. Instead, have the Lord's words in italics, throughout the song. That way, it can be a surprise at the end. Other ...

Very good. Love the reference to Pink Floyd :D:D:D The only thing is... I think you can do better with the end. It sounds a little preachy, making it kill ...

Ah... I see. You need to go into depth with this Hearts. All we can see is the anger, and anger is usually a mask for another emotion. :smt056 Why ...

:D My first suggestion... really go into depth here. Why do you miss the person so much? Do you feel guilt, confusion, apprehension? We need to know what you feel. ...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You look like someone I know up here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of odd... You have very pretty eyes :D Christmas is so adorable!!!!!!!!!!! She looks like a

Interesting. :D:D I think you can show a lot more with this. I mean, we can tell you care about the person, and that they are gone for some reason. ...