Schemilix

Hmm... Got potential I'll give you that. The image of this little angel with such importance is sweet. But yes, grammatical nitpicks have already been done and whatnot. Not too ...

Lip on lip skin on skin, breath get hard, harsh, heavy, helpless, heat rise, your touch your beat your breath creeping (little) death, beside, your hands, your Eye(s). Sh-sh-shiver, beneath ...

Beautiful. I love how you seem to lead us into this trite love poem and then smash it, bitterly. Such rich, bruised, harsh imagery - such hate, such hurt. You ...

I've been writing since I was very young, too. Pleased to meet a fellow avid writer - welcome!

Come sing with me to A dirge for the end of the world Stand with me as the stars unfurl And toss their golden ashes to us Stay by me ...

Hmm... I recommend capitalising the i's. Just me, though. I cringed when you said 'baby', personally. It always gives a very false, cheesy edge to anything. It reduces it to ...

(Worlds might end if worlds need end.) justice waits with shielded wings devil is deaf as the reaper sings lovers wither in a blaze of joy; fool falls prey to ...

Never amount to anything. And. You messed up the bold tags. And you shout too much. Typing in caps can't compensate for a lack of punch or heart... In this ...

Yeah I know stuff that just got written's never great but, it's never too early to start editing. xD

She walks past her dropout mother passed on the sofa surrounded by bottles. Stick a comma after surrounded, it'll just make it flow nicer. Right, overall. You start with 'she' ...

She walks past her dropout mother passed on the sofa surrounded by bottles. Stick a comma after surrounded, it'll just make it flow nicer. Right, overall. You start with 'she' ...

I know how you feel. I have my grandmother to give me tips, a few people to say exactly what they like, and one who would help but is really ...

Bleak... Very bleak. Also, very good. Slow, trudging, dreary, lifeless... But in this, it fits. My only complaint is it goes a little conversational. You have some nice imagery (even ...

The title fascinates me. *Stares* RIGHT. Erm. *Reads* Let's begin. Wow. It's bizarre. It's rich - it's good. Most of it. I have to say I'm not overly fond of ...

Hmm. Not bad. Your prose is good, by any means. I'm not a romantic fiction kind of person so you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little harsh, right, ...