Sapphire

I'd like to say that I wouldn't accept the offer for two simple reasons: 1. Every 5000 words would probably come across as too obvious, unless, as TL G-Wooster said, ...

I was going to review this yesterday but never had time, so here goes! The first thing I should say is I don't actually understand what's going on. It could ...

The worker frowns slightly and then pastes his kind, helpful grin back on his wrinkled face. As she watches him walk away, she wonders whether anything is real and if ...

This gave me goosebumps! The part where she mentions the gun was really creepy. I could tell from early on that the person wasn't real, but I thought it was ...

I liked this. I think I can see the development - first physical reaction to the freezing water, getting used to it, it takes over her mind, then she's free. ...

Hi! I noticed you didn't have any reviews yet so thought I'd leave my thoughts. I felt like there were two problems with this poem, the first of which is ...

Welcome to the site! Just to let you know we have a rule here that says you have to review two other works before posting a piece of your own ...

I think it's called an acrostic poem - that's what we called them in school anyway! I nvisible forces that bind me to you are (don't think you needed the ...

Hey, Sarah! She can see them watching her as she walks along the rough cobblestones. She doesn’t want them to turn around ; she doesn’t want them to know that ...

Hi! The turnaround at the end was the most effective line of the poem, but unfortunately it's preceded by a list of statements. Lists can get really monotonous, so eventually ...

You might want to have a look at this topic: Your question is perhaps a little more general, but it might help you out. :)

They swirl in clear brown liquid. Green-feathered ballerinas waltzing around a sphere of white china. As the water disappears, they plummet. Forgotten. The cup isn’t really spherical, so I think ...

She stood on cold stone. Her gaze sought something, everything, anything, nothing in the distance. (space – typo) Her gaunt, honey-coloured fingers clasped the leash. It was a normal balloon, ...

It was quite a long chapter, so this is quite a long critique coming up! It was seven in the morning on the first day back at school after the ...

What didn't you like about this chapter? I'm going to go through this as normal, but if there are any specific points that you want me to comment on then ...