Saphirra

This my second attempt at writing, my first being Hidden Evil, which i'm still writing. Please review! :wink: Jessica smiled at me, leaning back in her chair as she stretched. ...

I was made to stay in the jet while Andreas and the other man talked outside. Andreas was outside, speaking with the other man. His voice was angry and frustrated, ...

Again, this is my first attempt at writing, and i'm only thirteen, so i'm begging for reviews: Juliana POV Once Matt left, we sat in silence for a little. Then ...

actually, the 'one dude' in the prologue is Juliana, who is a girl. thanks for bringing that up! i'll do my best with the other stuff! Saphirra

don't worry, the whole thing with the powers is made clearer later.

That was quick! Great! now, on with the review... “Okay.” Ryanne said. In addition, they started serving the American clubhouse. You mean, together, they started serving the American clubhouse * ...

ok, first thing first I like the plot, its interesting and has potential. you need to describe your characters in a more subtle way, and maybe where they are as ...

I like how deep the characters were, and you introduce us to their personalities very well. However, you have on logic flaw in this that bothered me. If its been ...

I really like all the descriptive language, but you tend to switch several times from present to past to present tense. its distracting and takes away from the story. Also, ...

THIS IS HILARIOUS! i love the way you completely took the opposite view that the actual story is written in. it makes the story much more realistic and very cynical. ...

Andreas looked around the small room with its sagging roof beams. Gathering his materials, he chuckled to himself. Five years ago he had been sentenced to life in prison. People ...

The plot line is really good, but you kind of just hand it to us immediately. in the story we have no idea where they are, what they are doing, ...

I really liked all the twists in it. i also loved the kind of foreshadowing you give when you make Bella continually reassure that nothing is wrong. its as though ...

This. Was. Hilarious! Great job, everyone needs a laugh once in a while. Continue with these funny writings!

This was really good, because you totally captured the way that Stephanie Meyers writes. However, i think everything was a bit overdramatized, and that took away from the story a ...