Sandvich

Kasis I heard somebody leave the cell, then a few moments later I heard someone walk past. I looked around the corner as sneakily as you can in full armour, ...

Kasis I walked down the dungeon corridor importantly, feeling all made up in my guards gear. How I go the guards gear is slightly complicated. I will say only this; ...

Kasis Intermediaries. It has taken a disgracefully long time for the idea to occur to me. I wasn't allowed in the dungeon - not many people were - but the ...

Good evening. Overall, this piece is great. You've managed to develop Colby and his families personalities quite a lot in a short text, which is no easy feat. I enjoyed ...

Yes, you were thinking along the right lines. :) I didn't describe the character because I thought it would be best for the reader to imagine themselves in the situation ...

I've seen Rango. It's such an awesome film. Come to think of it it was probably one of the things that popped into my head briefly while I was writing ...

Heh, thanks. No, I haven't ever been stranded in a desert before. I've never even been in a desert before. xD

Perfection I gazed at the sand beneath my feet. So ugly. I looked at the clouds. So meaningless. The sparse cacti surrounding me. Pointless. I sat on the coarse sand. ...

Kasis Balti It was early this morning that one of my informants came to me and told me of the captured resistance fighter. As a lowly constable, I am officially ...

Name: Kasis Balti Gender: Male Age: 29 Appearance: Kasis is fairly tall, but not particularly well built; he is not physically strong. He wears varying clothing; whatever fits the situation, ...

Name: Eoghan Gender: Male Star Sign: Pisces Eye Colour: Brown Clothing Style: Casual Hair Colour: Brown Hair Style: Messy, long Skin Tone: Pale Other: I'm addicted to video games :D

Awesome. Zacharias is freaky :O At the start, I couldn't help but notice that you changed your spelling of Rachael and then switched back again halfway through. Might want to ...

EXCELLENT edit. You fixed all the problems. As far as I can see, apart from a few places where I personally think there should be commas, it's basically perfect. Nicely ...

Chapter Three Guido had released me, but now I was willingly following him. He seemed to be flying across the snow, but I was lagging far behind. The snow was ...

Good stuff. I like how you add in little details like what lessons Colin had, whether he was with Raechel (probably spelt her name wrong... xD) or not, and how ...