SASSYLADY333

I think this story had emotion it flowed easily. You captured the readers attention extremely well. I think the events happened quickly but at the same time thing's didnt feel ...

I thought this was very well written, especially for a first post. :) I'll be a tad more honest though. Your formatting needs some work. Like someone esle said Italics ...

I hop off my bike exhausted from the bike ride to Betty’s Diner. As soon as I open the door it jingles, and my brothers are already greeting me. Some ...

Hmmm... well I liked it! It was engaging, and I expect in the next few posts we'll know what you mean by some of your references... But besides that it ...

Wow that was really good! "I couldn’t help[but keep] my voice from turning to a slight whine as the odd sensations continued up my arm." Besides that it flowed well, ...

Yeah, well I said it wasn't a poem yet... But thank you.

A vast improvement! I like this a lot, it gave us a lot at the character, her personality, who she is, and maybe some of the things shes going through. ...

The age old battle! But I do admit I wasn't very creative, I rushed to express myself. But I'm glad you could relate, thanks :)

Thank you! I couldn't have gotten a better review on my birthday :)

Thank you! :)

[Finally someone with structure!] Ahem, anyway I liked this very much! :) Kind of reminds me of a story i was writing...

I liked this! Yeah I"m a tyrant about this ....but you probably need some spaces for stanza's. Unless dramatic poetry doesn't need that...I"m not sure! But this poem had flow ...

So this is really good! Just two things! 1. Spelling, im a horrible speller lol 2. Structure! i think you need more stanza's!!!

You need structure, and more description perhaps. But i think it has a really good flow. And you spelled cheek wrong. So yeah after revising this and giving it the ...

When You Return My Love I won’t say if you do, or I hope you will I can feel it in heart that beats faster just for you I know ...