SASSYLADY333

I think it has good potiential but you didn't give us enough. I think you should add more details, because even though this is the beginning I don't think it's ...

Chapter Three: For Ashley, It Doesn’t Go Up So now it’s around five o’clock and the preparations are nearly over. I’m sitting in a corner as everyone swoons over him ...

Thanks Tina! ;)

Well, I liked it. I could hear the beat with your words! Not that I know much about Lyric poetry, but in my opinion it was good. Just to be ...

I hope you'll like chapter two!

Thanks! I will, I'm defintely excited to add more to this story. :)

lol thanks , I will.

I liked it, maybe just add a little more orginality. But honeslty i thought it was great, and maybe add some more stuff about " yesterday". Good song, ;).

Thanks Tony! You caught things no one esle did. And I think once I make some adjustments my wirititng wil be more enjoyable. :). hope you like what I have ...

God, finally someone got the skirt part. lol. Yeah I need to work on developing my characters more and deciding upon the other all view of the story I thank ...

Thank you two for your reviews! Helps very much, thanks for pointing stuff out that I over looked! :)

Well, noticed you had no reviews, so I'm doing the pleasure. Loved it, I think it's a good story. Just make your story a little clearer, like at first I ...

Thank you so much! Got thirty-four pages plenty for the future. ;).

I liked it, it was mature writing with a simplistic style which could pull the reader in. Good job Sam.

I agree, I'm a dialogue freak....lol.