Rydia

That was... unexpected. In a good way though. I think killing off D made the story a little more realistic. But even in a comedy, the reader needs to be ...

This is a nice little story and I think I'll start with the child's voice. It is too sophisticated for a five year old but you could get over that ...

I think I will start by answering your questions... 1: Does the second person work for Blizzard's flashback? [At first it felt a little out of place but I think ...

Azael "This food and water you mentioned earlier, where do the guards hide it?" Tadgh asked as Azael led him a little way from the spring. Without turning, Azael pointed ...

I'd love a critique on A Moonlit Stroll. Thanks!

Hahaha. That's okay and no worries, we have many members who are infrequent parasites of our domain ;) Consistency is over-rated and mystery much more fun.

Azael Azael led them at a leisurely pace to the spring. It did not do to rush around in the heat of the pits and it was even hotter down ...

Cat, let me know when you have those chapters back up and I'll critique them for you. Only three more on the list now which might just last me tomorrow ...

Called Jack and from England, huh? What a coincidence, one of our junior administrators shares both your name and country of origin. My story's simple. I'm from North Yorkshire, my ...

Hey again! I think you need to expand parts of this. Like at the beginning, where you have Hank and Axel discussing how they don't know how to drive the ...

Hello there Jack, welcome to the site! Feel free to tell us a little about yourself! If you have questions, would like a critique or are interested in the buddy ...

Miss is bigger.

This is good. I'll not critique the content as a diary entry really doesn't call for that but I'm glad you let your natural voice show through and it's well ...

This is good but I think it lacks atmosphere to some extent. The whole piece is centered around cinnamon, yes? And yet you make little attempt to describe it, to ...

Violet Fern smiled in response and then turned and walked into the small kitchenette to put the kettle on. Violet waited until she was certain that her sister was gone ...