Rydia

Raven Raven awoke slowly after a much more pleasant dream than the last and she turned to look up at Luke with a soft smile. "Morning," she said gently. "Good ...

Rydia "But how are we going to catch him?" Rydia wondered as they began to chase after Dorumon. "We don't have a plan yet," Luna agreed. "We'll just have to ...

Violet Violet woke early and was worried to find herself alone in the small, attick room. How long had Fern been awake? She headed down to the top floor bathroom ...

Azael Azael and Gerain watched each other, a silent battle of wills passing between them. Azael's eyes held a flinty determination while Gerain appeared to be eager and hopeful. "You've ...

Go YWS! Did you happen to see if we were near the top? It would be interesting to know where we feature exactly in the top 101.

This is good, you have some very strong characters, but I think the realism of it and the general narrative need some work. There's some lovely descriptions at the beginning ...

You have an interesting plot, the base of some good characters and a lot of action but it doesn't quite flow. Rather than starting where she's rowing towards the boat ...

Dennis Dennis did not feel comfortable holding onto Greymon's back. He was huge, much bigger than wormmon, and Dennis thought it very unfair that little blond Sarah should have a ...

Read the posts by kittykat and cat4prowl by now. That should give you an idea of where your character is. You should try to read the others too but there ...

"What the hell?" he asked, hearing me grunt as they dropped me roughly on what I could only assume was a [s]piled[/s] pile of things they’d just stolen from our ...

Thanks KJ! And thank you, Azila, of course you can call me Kitty. Those are some really good points and I'm not going to make any changes just yet but ...

Welcome back, Meep!

You've let me run out of things to critique... Lol. I need to get some sleep anyway but make sure I have a few more by tomorrow. Still 39 before ...

This section is much better and more like your prologue. The description is beautiful and the characterization of the director is perfect. In fact, there is very little to fault. ...

This part wasn't as good as your first. The style of writing and description are still excellent but the info dumping was not. I think you're trying to condense too ...