Rydia

“Well, if you don’t like my show of gratitude I can just kill you know.” [Should either be '...kill you, you know' or '...kill you now'.] She raised her gun ...

This is great, Brad. Highly amusing. I think your characters are very well developed with such wonderfully individual personalities. I don't know if you've edited since Meshugenah's comment but I ...

I let this pass earlier but could you please read the rules when you join a storybook? I'd really appreciate it if you took more time on your posts and ...

YWS has many usergroups here - - and you will find the debate group amongst them if you scroll down. Feel free to request membership.

This one is very prosey and yet very beautiful and poetic at the same time. The story it tells is touching and the simplicity of your phrases reflects the characters' ...

Thank you, Jas and midnight. I'm just going to go ahead and post this. I have written a few more over the last few days but I hate them all ...

Hey there Cat (may I call you that?) it's nice to meet you. Welcome to YWS! If you've got any questions about the site or would like a critique, feel ...

April 1: Firstly, this line reallt bothered me - At least the [s]fealing[/s] feeling like [s]your[/s] you're being watched is gone, right? You're right, it's not a great poem and ...

April 9: I don't know if it was intentional but your first stanza seems to contain a lot of sibilance which was great and so fitting with the title that ...

Hey there! Hope you don't mind the slight edit to your post but please try to avoid using full caps, particularly in the literature section of the site. I think ...

Hehe. I like this chapter, the character's personalities were much clearer than they have been in some of the other more recent additions. I think you need to consider the ...

It was a very dark image, and they could barely make out the helicopter as Penelope walked towards it. Abruptly the image swerved to the left, and they saw a ...

I didn't like the repetition of eyes in such a short poem but the last line is great, you have a real sense of humour and it shows through your ...

April 1: This is cute. The random addition of Francs after keeping the others the same and that typo threw me but it's cute. It's not highly poetic or original, ...

April 1: I love the theme of knitting throughout it and I think the voice of the persona is very strong. I'd suggest removing line four completely because I'm sure ...