Rydia

Well I'm not sure that tearing it to pieces is in order but a little surgery might be XD Here's some comments and advice then, I hope it helps: Abracadabra ...

Hey hey! Here I am then :) Let's see what changes you've made... Since I missed the intro when I critiqued the other one, I'll give you a review of ...

Hey there. I regret that it took me so long to get around to this, particularly after having read it. You have a wonderful poem here. I found it started ...

Marie The queen's passing on - what an unpleasant phrase! - had made the young woman sad and she still couldn't have said why. There was no explanation for it. ...

I shall join! Name: Marie Age: 23 Position: Servant Appearance: Plain and ordinary, Marie was chosen out of many young girls for these very qualities. She has mousy brown hair ...

Dialogue Hey hey! Okay so first off, Yorkshire dialect? What an interesting idea! A very good choice as it's one of those accents that's neither modern or old and sometimes ...

A few specifics first and then some more general comments: Adèle Dupont cried at her father’s funeral. Surrounded by her uncle and cousins, she sat in the front row of ...

Naomi Grafton; Team Red ; 1:58; Bunker w/Team Red Claiming the chair next to Clint, Naomi waited impatiently for the others to gather 'round. Most were as quick and eager ...

That's fine, enjoy your trip! I'll post with Taki tomorrow :)

Kiara Gillian Vandepeer; Regeneration; 12:15am; Empire State Building It was a stalemate. In fact it was worse than that because I didn't have a loyal dog crouched at my feet, ...

Alistair After collecting an ink pot and quill, Alistair spread the map across the table and sat examining it for some time. The quill hung loosely from his hand as ...

I changed it to Ayaka, hope that works.

Bianca It was very good of the others to help her and very stupid of the thief to try and rob her in the first place really. What use was ...

Valentina Someone had been helping the American kid to the hospital wing? Again? Valya could feel her face twisting into a grimace as she realised this was probably the work ...

Yeah... sorry I didn't get a message to you but the weekend was very crazy for me XD