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Re: The Four Colonies {Started/Accepting Characters}
Ariadne I was following prey and a big one at that, a renegade vampire wanted by the queen herself. Akasha. That wasn't who'd hired me of course, or at least ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Fire and Ice [edited!]
Why hello there my dear! I must say I was very excited when you told me about the context of this piece and the idea to write it on Fire ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: the master's manifest: A dealing on sunday mourning
Why hello there! I think you're writing on a very interesting topic here and there are parts of this I really love, but you get a bit rambly and a ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: A Certain City of Espers
Righty-oh Takeo Lena was pretty but the weird thing was that Taki's thoughts never lingered on her appearance long. They were too busy drowning in her smiles and her laughter. ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: She was known for her disappearances
Hello there! There's a lot I really liked about this like your use of the 'She' which added some mystery and a lot of nice emphasis and your easy, very ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: A Certain City of Espers
I'm actually not going to be around very much for the next few months. I have two weeks of essays and exams right now and not long after that I ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Hush
I thought I'd throw you a review oh enemy of mine ;) I like this. The lack of punctuation irks me somewhat but I'll leave that to you since it's ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: Cody (for lack of a title) Chapter 1 edited
Why hello there! Alright I'm going to start by giving you some comments as I read through and then I'll round up with some more general advice and overall opinion: ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: Obedience Training
Why hello there! Alright then so I liked this and it grew on me more the second and third times I read it, but I also found it a little ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: Onward to Freedom
Athalus It was a jerky ride but strangely that made Athalus feel more comfortable. At least he had the sense that they were moving and that something was happening; it ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: April Poetry Month Challenge Champions
Congrats guys, really well done!
May 11, 2011 -
Re: Onward to Freedom
Name: Athalus Lodowick Age: 21 Gender: Male Race: Audrais'i'oen Appearance: Athalus is of average height for his race, about 6'7" and has a slight but muscular build. His skin is ...
May 10, 2011 -
Re: Untitled
An excellent first attempt! You've got a great sense of rhyme, especially all those internal ones and there's some clever wording going on here. However, your flow is a little ...
May 10, 2011 -
Re: HI
Why hello there Jovie and welcome to the site! It's nice to see another writer in their twenties on here, are you in university? Or college of course if you're ...
May 10, 2011 -
Re: New; or maybe not?
Hey there Moestitia, I guess this is a welcome back to YWS then! I'm glad you decided to give it another go :) And don't judge your writing so harshly! ...
May 10, 2011