Ruth

Hi there, I'm Grin, your friendly neighbourhood obsessive critiquer of Narrative for the week. Well... wow. You have some excellent imagery here, and I'm slightly creeped out by this, which ...

As peanut said, what stood out first to me is the lack of punctuation. However, as she's covered that, I'll move onwards... Dreamer's right, too, your metaphor is a little ...

Hi july! Okay, this is a great first attempt. And for anyone struggling with going into something brand new, I would point to this and say, in a loud, commanding ...

Hi, I'm Grin. I'm with Dreamer and June - you're very jumpy. Things are happening too fast and you have major events in a short couplet and there's nowhere near ...

Hi, I'm Grin Okay. I agree with Snoink and Dreamer, you're cutting out big chunks and the reader doesn't feel the immediacy so much. And, dear, you don't need it ...

Hi, I'm Grin Okay, this was good. I liked it. It's a sensitive topic and you have handled it well, with nothing I can make out that seems likely to ...

Wow! Well, this is phenomenal stuff. I can see a few issues, but I loved it. Present tense is difficult for some people to read comfortably. I know it feels ...

That was really... interesting. No, I liked it. But I agree with cheez, the flow is struggling a little. But other than that, it's great. The content is very melodramatic ...

Dreamer has been the most amazing second-in-command the Grinions could wish for. She's put in so much effort and i tattle a million times over.

Hi, I'm Grin... the one falling over in amazement aty Amy's critique up there :) I liked this. You have some lovely imagery up there, and with a little work ...

Hi! Okay. When I clicked on this, my first reaction was... PUNCTUATION, darling! The story is excellent, and this is very well written. But you haven't used any punctuation. With ...

Hi, I'm Grin, it's nice to meet you :D Okay, I really liked this. You've got some lovely imagery and there's a great little story in here. I think your ...

Banned because I have the power.

Hi, I'm Grin, your friendly neighbourhood reviewer :) I have to say, I'm with Katherine on this. It's sweet, but in a slightly scary way. If you cut down a ...

Hi, I'm Grin and I will be your reviewer for today :) I loved this. Sunday pancakes are the essence of life and are yet so often overlooked! I especially ...