RoxanneR

It's a bit confusing to know what is going on, but apart from that it's ok. Some of the grammar is a bit strange, but you can sort that out ...

This is good, with some developed characters and scenes, but the frammar needs working on a bit. Also, do you need all that text in one big paragraph, or can ...

I have never written a story with an animal as the main character. Could you all guess what the animal was alright? If you need an answer, PM me. RR*

You could try double-spacing your paragraphs to make it a bit more readable, but apart from that the storyline was good. RR*

I like this, especially the names, which make it seem like it is supposed to be set a long time ago. Is it? I also like the crack about the ...

I'm getting on really badly; I only have about 30,000 words, but it's ok cos I don't have anything else to do, so I can dip in whenever I feel ...

I don't really bother to plan much, but when I do it's just quick notes about the characters and plot, but nothing too major. I just let the creative juices ...

Yeh, it's cute for a little kid! I love cats and you can see that this is just the same as any! RR*

It's not a story, it's a poem!

Living on the hills But ruling silently. Watching his kingdom Survive beneath his hooves. No crown of gold Lies upon his head. Or cloth around his shoulder For he is ...

Chapter 1: I am running, running for my life across the African plain, trying desperately to lose them. The trees, bushes and long grass are inviting, but then again, anything ...

There are a few grammatical errors, but on the whole it was good. I like the history at the beginning. That really drew me into reading the story. A bit ...

I like this, but I'm not clear about a few things: Is this a prologue or a first chapter? What sort of time period is this set in? Thanks RR*

I like the story, and the characters seem very developed. I like all the little things that really add to the big picture. Do you have any more? RR*

This is good, but it isn't really the best way to start a story. You as the reader are left with question that are unanswered. It's just as well that ...