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Re: Tainted Blood Ch.1 Part 2
Hello, Comments- this is very short so it's hard to comment on it individually, I think you could just post whole chapters at a time. If I were you I'd ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: A Bloodied Rose part two
Hello! Comments- I like that you have a more complex set of properties for the vampire blood. hat some is green and some silver is interesting and makes me wonder ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: Goddess Fallen
Hello, if he could have imagined the perfect woman, his picture would have fallen short of the incredible vision of womanhood- woman/womanhood feels awkward to me. I was unable to ...
Sep 7, 2008 -
Re: Future Final; Chapter One - Part One.
Hello, The first section was very intense. It set the scene well and gave the story instant atmosphere. in other words, I liked it :-). Aside from that, I was ...
Sep 1, 2008 -
Re: Lizzee ;o
Hey, I don't think you sound boring, sorry :-). Being a financial journalist sounds interesting (if impossible for math impaired people like me). I like that you have other ideas ...
Sep 1, 2008 -
Re: Shedding light on RowanHowler
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, nothing happened because I hadn't thought it up it yet. To remedy this, I built kingdoms with my beanie babies,pierced ...
Aug 31, 2008 -
Re: Seyonne--The Warden
Hello, I love the figure, it looks like you spent the most time on that. I would suggest more detail and less scratchiness to the wings and the castle. Your ...
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: The Bloody Quill
Well thank you! I'd aim a bit higher, though, lol. I really appreciate your kind comments.
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: The Zenith Cycle: Zenith--Prologue
Hello, You already said you are trying to cut down on your wordiness. I have the same problem. Here's an example for you of how I would edit a sentience ...
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: Tainted Blood Ch.1 Part 1
Hello, Just returning the favor for the helpful review you gave me. The first thing that threw me was how short this chapter is. Usually I think you'd want about ...
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: A Bloodied Rose part one
Hello, Ooooh, be careful using "Salem" because I instantly think of "Salem's Lot" by King about vampires. There are so many vampire novels it can be impossible to nix all ...
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: Rawther new. . .
Hey! AAR was the first "vampire author" I read and I was instantly endeared as well! Welcome aboard, I'm a newbie as well. I hope you have fun here! Please ...
Aug 30, 2008 -
Re: Devil's Book- Chapter Two
Chapter Three "You can call me Afina," the girl offered, sliding off the sill. Her clothes consisted of mostly hard, shiny, cloth as blue as her hair. That was about ...
Aug 28, 2008 -
Re: Shape shifters chapter one
Hey again, Gotta pay you back for all of your really great reviews! I took our advice on them and fixed them up so thanks extra! Comments: This is by ...
Aug 28, 2008 -
Re: Blue Eyes, Black Dragon
Hello, I think the beginning, describing the stranger's way fo sitting is a little awkward,especially for a beginning paragraph. I think maybe "his feet braced against the floor as though ...
Aug 28, 2008
