Ross

It was...astounding. Your style of writing does seem a bit too poetic--but that's just me--but I loved the storyline, how you didn't give away the character relationships right away. So ...

Pretty good start, but it's too poetic in the beginning. Some grounded sentences/phrases here and there could minimize the risk of the reader's head in the clouds. Good start, Angel!

Okay, for all you guys who are saying that this is similar to Twilight. I read the book and I must agree that there are...similarities. But let me inform you ...

This is a marvelous sonnet. I loved the topic, but I think some words can be moved around because honestly I had this image in my head of Yoda reading ...

This was a good piece, but I think it is more poetry than lyrics. Also, I couldn't find a tune to it. Good, but doesn't belong in the Lyrics section.

Ooh, you had me shivering at the end. It was really, really good. I do agree with Kenpachi about the "weird" phrases. And also, you need to watch your punctation!

It hooked me well, but left me hanging at the end. Pretty good, though! I just don't think this poem is very...compelling.

This is really really good. However, I agree with both Di and Summerless. Amy and Ray are a little cliche, but also you need to round out your characters more. ...

What's with the lolly in the mouth? Otherwise, pretty good!

This was so brilliant. I could actually feel the tension from the narrator--battling religion with his lust for the guy. You gave it the right amount of detail to make ...

This is real good! Please please please post more! :)

This is an impressive piece of writing! I like the plot line and I liked how you showed the characters secondary to the setting. I've always done that too. Well ...

This is an interesting plot line, but there's a lot of outright telling instead of showing it through dialogue, touch...you get the idea... I think if you gave the narrator ...

Chapter One “Who’s that guy sitting in the corner?” “Why do you want to know?” I didn’t reply. “That’s Chester,” the girl’s answer was terse. “He’s a bit crazy.” “Says ...

Hahaaaa! I was :smt043 when it ended. I loved the character's sarcasm and rebellious attitude. That does seem a bit cliche though because I read a lot of stories with ...