Ross

You strike me as a unusual name-person, like...Carathea? Hobbies: Drawing, chatting Place: Near Seattle Personality: Nice and airy. Sometimes p.o. and sometimes chipper

Pretty, but the green one seems a bit...bland

I have many many influences. Lemme name them by genre: THRILLER -Dan Brown -James Patterson -Stephenie Meyer ROMANCE -Alison Kent -Janelle Denison FANTASY -Midori Synder HORROR -William Peter Blatty -

Oh my goodness! This was one of the most heart-wrenching stories I've ever read. I could relate to the MC, feel her frustration and anger. Jordy is just one of ...

This is pretty good. Everything that I can see that's wrong has been pointed out by Vernon, Mizz and Summerless. (Good job guys :D)

It was very good except for a common mistake "your" should be you're. Good job!

Oh my goodness! I almost cried at this...and I'm NOT a big weeper. I loved the word choice and the condensing language. That would've been good, but then you just ...

This is really good. I love how it's very simplistic and also allowing for feelings to seep through. You really got that across in the word choice. *clicks gold star*

I pushed Chad’s bedroom door wide open. My mind was unwavering, my jaw set. But when my eyes took in the bedroom, my plan crumbled. Chad wasn’t in bed. He ...

This is very good. It was erotic in a way, but managed not to be graphic. There's rarely a story like that!

Don't use phrases like: -It was blacker than night -Her eyes were as blue as the sky -When in Rome... -When life gives you lemons, make lemons *barfs*

You can get sued for publishing song lyrics. If the song is INSPIRATION, then its good!

Pretty good plot, but the characters are a bit cliche.

I go to my seventh-grade LA teacher for criticizing out of here. I hate it when people are like, "Great." And then when I ask them what made it great, ...

Only use swear words in dialogue or when freaking, darn, etc. are not good enough to make an impact.