RoseGryffindor

Wow! I love it! So simple yet so powerful! This is just something I would do, but I would put in a little doubt. Fear that that maybe God has ...

Beautifully written! You did well in describing that the person feels like a stranger to you. Maybe a little too well.....Anyways, to me I was getting the impression that you ...

Your pictures are very beauitful! You grandmother has a lovely garden!

Awesome-tastic! Pulls you right from the beggining. Haha, sometimes I go to write a critique then I finsish reading the sentence and then realize it's fine like that. XD Holy ...

Good, good. Yeah, you just have a few grammatical errrors which you'll catch when you rewrite. I don't know if it's just me but Haze's personality seems off. SHe seems ...

She was standing in the middle of a plain. On either side in the far distance were a line of trees, in the front and back of her the plain ...

Ch 1 It was pitch black; a suffocating thick darkness that overwhelmed you. There wasn’t a sound to be heard. So this is what it must feel like when you’re ...

I'm loving your story so far and I'm glad you're writing it from Erik's point of view. It could still use a little more work but overall really good because ...

Yes, I wasted 100 pts. just to write this.

This will show you just how wierd me and my freinds really are. So me and my friend Kennedy were walking down the hallway in school to put her lunch ...

She paced back and forth furiously in her dark prison. Unable to control her anger anymore, she let out an agonizing howl of frustration. How dare she! How dare that ...

It was pitch black; a suffocating thick darkness that overwhelmed you. There wasn’t a sound to be heard. So this is what it must feel like when you’re dead , ...

Holy crap! I'm the first one to comment! I feel special!

This is much, MUCH better Pip. I loved the beggining paragraph, you've really improved on it and Adalyn's personality is becoming more defined now. There are a few things though... ...

Ok, honestly I didn't even read the full story because it was getting to hard to read. The sentences seem jumbled together, you need to go back, look at them, ...