Robin

First Names: Antonio m Archer m Asher m Bergan m Brock m Caleb m Caitlin f Dale m Devon f/m Euan m Evan m Franklin m Grant m Ian m ...

Yeah that was my main concern when I joined this site. I've been submitting some of my work to literary magazines lately. If it was on a site I used ...

Where I'm from everyone swears. We don't do it because we're weak-minded and have no other way to express ourselves as that one popular quote states. It's just how we ...

Nice use of description. I liked the character's overall voice in this it gave a lot of info without being too blunt or bland. The ending of this section was ...

Inspiration for the book I'm trying to write right now came from various things..."White Trash Anthem" by Blood for Blood. Gang life and a gangs reaction to a non-gang member. ...

Yeaahh I hate to point out the spelling errors. But do you have spell check? There's that option at the bottom of the post that says it if you don't ...

I didn't really like this sentence: The hot Summer day had turned us into popsicles - two frozen treats sitting side by side, excreting sticky perspiration in way that only ...

I also hate the people who write people exactly how they are in real life. I don't exactly just mostly similar. And how would you know if someone were to ...

Sure filling out sheets like that can help...But how does it really get you into the mindset of the character? What I used to do a few years ago was ...

Part One June 26, 2006: Robin The way his head slammed against the wall shook the two onlookers. It cracked loudly but he didn’t acknowledge the pain. That’s what scared ...

I usually pick names that I like...but doing that a lot makes me have tons of Jeremys. I've tried going to and doing that random name generator. But as I'm ...

When a new speaker is talking start a new paragraph. You have a lot of dialogue mixed in between text. Just noticed I already reviewed your other story. But yeah, ...

I actually think this whole thing would be better as a first chapter... I mean if you are going to pick up right where you left off in the "prologue". ...

Post Office by Charles Bukowski...near the end already. Next I'm probably going to re-read American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

I agree that there should be a little bit more info or maybe just something about the characters, because it dives right into the story without saying much about them. ...