RoarShark

Well here is an update to the first post. Thanks for reading! Sand and jagged rocks that filled the beach slowly turned to trees and dark green, close to black, ...

Hi there. Okay, it was too long but I managed to read it. I haven't read the previous parts but I think I get the idea about what's going on ...

Hi there! Well I must say I truly enjoyed this. The description and emotion in this makes it beautiful to read. It paints a clear picture of the scene in ...

Hi! I haven't read the other chapters, but I'm pretty sure you probably repeat yourself a lot in the first paragraph. Even if you don't, you do a lot of ...

So sad, so powerful though. I definitely could feel for the narrator. This was quite good, and I did not see any grammatical mistakes, I'm not good at spotting the ...

Thanks Ariel! And Mary may or may not be dead... not completely. I've got ideas floating around. I do have a question though, does Dax seem believable and likeable so ...

fix What?

My first thought when reading this..... "Whoa! What is happening here?" I was sort of confused in the beginning and I have a question? When you write do you picture ...

My first thought when reading this..... "Whoa! What is happening here?" I was sort of confused in the beginning and I have a question? When you write do you picture ...

Okay so I updated the first post with the rest of what could be called Chapter One. Thanks for all the positive feedback.

Thanks Carly! This was actually written as an assignment for school with a limited amount of words I could use, so that is why there is little dialogue and description ...