RoarShark

Wow rather interesting. I love the way that you introduced the whole concept of this dying world. The way you narrowed down you descriptions from broadness(the world in general) to ...

Well here is an update to the first post. Thanks for reading! Sand and jagged rocks that filled the beach slowly turned to trees and dark green, close to black, ...

Hi there. Okay, it was too long but I managed to read it. I haven't read the previous parts but I think I get the idea about what's going on ...

Chapter Four – A Strange New Game London was a blustering busy town. This was not unexpected at all though, for London was the capital of England at this time. ...

It took me a while to realize what exactly was going on. At first I thought you were referencing something from pop culture which I did not understand. By the ...

Hi there! Well I must say I truly enjoyed this. The description and emotion in this makes it beautiful to read. It paints a clear picture of the scene in ...

I usually write part of something everyday, though rarely does anything turn out good. It does help that I have a creative writing class daily.

Hey guys! Its been a while since I've posted anything on this site. I recently started something new, and so far I really like where its heading. The issue I ...

Hi! I haven't read the other chapters, but I'm pretty sure you probably repeat yourself a lot in the first paragraph. Even if you don't, you do a lot of ...

So this is part 3, well chapter 3 really of the project I've been working on. This will probably be the last part I post on here for a while. ...

My favorite is definitely serpentine : winding and serpent like and it could be used to describe many different things.

Not bad, incredibly intriguing. I can see why this was picked up by an agent. Your style shines thru, as was mentioned earlier the questions given to the reader help ...

So sad, so powerful though. I definitely could feel for the narrator. This was quite good, and I did not see any grammatical mistakes, I'm not good at spotting the ...

Thanks Ariel! And Mary may or may not be dead... not completely. I've got ideas floating around. I do have a question though, does Dax seem believable and likeable so ...

Just a small gripe. The formatting is wrong. Its very wrong. First off dialogue should look like this CHARACTER What they are saying Its hard to get it centered here ...