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Re: Ocean Song
Fell into the ocean, into the dark I see black-hearted angels swim with me taking me deeper into my bottomless sea all my past and futures were with me all ...
Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:34 am -
Re: In-House Meditation Device
I admire my bed for all its warmth and comfy-ness during my starlight voyages. We would sail across my river of memories and find all sorts of nightmares trying to ...
Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:44 am -
Re: My Butterfly
Some punctuation errors, but other than that, good. Great imagery by the way. Keep it up!
Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:23 am -
Re: Bloody Pearls
Punc.tuation. Work on. That. Other than that. It's has detail. and some good wording. Keep. It up.
Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:01 pm -
Re: 5 things
1. Quote of the week has been the same one for at least a month. 2. There are a lot of emo girls in Dramatic Poetry. 3. Why is Bartemius ...
Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:00 pm -
Re: Thoughts of a Beautiful Field
Details, details, details. It's mundane and felt like you've rushed this. Had me laughing at the end though, very nice.
Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:44 pm -
Re: Glass Eyes
Um, elaborate. Right now, it's x , an abstract variable. Make it tangible. Please. You've got something good here.
Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:15 am -
Re: Flash Prison
I didn't really think I was going for a story - just a moment in time, like a haiku. But in flash fiction. And sorry for the grammar mistakes, I ...
Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:41 am -
Re: Flash Prison
9:21. Two minutes separate the hallway from the threat of blooming to a jungle of hormone-infested creatures. Everyone, except one, is tense, diligently watching the red menace of the clock. ...
Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:21 pm -
Re: Toy Boat
I remember sailing across the oceans, finding myself lost and drowning until your hands picked me up and became my guide, my sanctuary. I happily sailed through your tub of ...
Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:15 pm -
Re: Fireworks
The Moon hides when it is clouded by the smoke of dying fire and the death of a new beginning. Stars have heard our voices and weep rain with us, ...
Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:09 am -
Re: Good-bye My Perfect Guy.
Is this for Jake or for me? Because it's not really a compelling read if the poem's for one person. You even said it yourself, it's for Jake and not ...
Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:43 am -
Re: Leonardo
Sorry, it's just hard for me to put things in perspective of the reader. I'm too lazy to try, I guess. But I added a stanza just to explain who ...
Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:39 am -
Re: Leonardo
Made some capitalizations. Anymore than that, I'd be redefining a flashing arrow. :\
Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:25 am -
Re: Leonardo
Well that's what people criticized me for - my vagueness. I thought wrapping it up would make people happy. Please make up your minds o.0
Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:07 am
