Renn

This is sad but really good, there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes but other than that it is golden. Keep on writing!

Okay, the corrections I'm going to make are bolded. By the way this is pretty good, and what makes them even better is that they aren't based on Twilight. So ...

Red is of fiery hells Should 'hells' be plural? In this instance I think it might not work. Etirnity of anger welled up inside It is spelled 'eternity', and I ...

This really brought more thought into a subject that nobody wants to think about. :) So kudos, you should write more. This was awsome!

Amazing...! I couldn't help but be floored by the imagery. We shall intertwine our hearts, Very sweet, couldn't help but imagine the hearts with wings though, but that seems a ...

This was really deep and I couldn't help but relate to this, especially the segment How could you Do this to me Selling all my secrets That I've only told ...

The unique way of poetry really brought out a different wave of emotions, I think you should continue with this prose. This is really very good, and I loved the ...

I found this magnificently written and I LOVED the way 'Back to a time with strawberries and cream.' tied it all back together!

I wouldn't so much as call this a story as I would call this a poem, a very good poem at that. I think what solidified the poem aspect of ...

Oh my God, very good turn of events! I think I might love Ely a little bit.

There are just a few common mistakes, mostly unneccisary capitalization and a few verb tense mistakes. Nothing too big. Very good writing though!

Wow.... This was really dark and couldn't have grabbed my attention any more if you tried... I can't wait to read more.

This is really discriptive and I can totally see it in my head! It does seem a little like Iron Hand by Charlie Fletcher... if you've read that. You might ...

A little confusing but that might just be me... It took me a while to get what a Shambler was and whatnot

Wow.... This is really really good! Keep writing more on this plot. :)