Rei

Chapter one: You've still got some sentences that are way too long. Think of the shortest sentense you have have while still saying the same thing. I still don't get ...

You sound like a very fascinating person. can't wait to read your stories,

This week, I have come to a very simple conclusion about Canadian publishers who believe they are publishing books for teens. They suck.

Once again, the voice is way to formal. This time it did take away from the believability of the character. And don't you think after fourteen years, they might have ...

Pretty good. A nice introduction to what promises to be a very interesting story. There are a couple of awkward sentences, though you can hardly notice them. I thought the ...

Yes, Brad, that is a little disconcerting. I was recently watching a program that talked about sex-related crimes in relationship with the amount of sex there is in popular entertainment. ...

Sometimes it amazes me how much detail people need to go into when creating a character when it comes so naturally to me. I never did take the academic approach ...

I love tattooes, but not permanent ones. I get a henna tattoo at the CNE every year. Usually a Chinese character. My favourite one to get is dream.

It wasn't that bad. But I can tell that you wrote it on an implus. All it really needs, though, is more depth to make it feel real.

I can't remember exactly where I got this, but I read somewhere on this site: "Fashion is ugly. That's why they have to change it every six months."

The title was a prompt given at my writers group. Here's what I came up with. Shopping sucks. I hate shopping. Used to love it when I was in middle ...

Honestly, this is very dull. I can tell it was written very academically, and there was a lot of thought put into it, but it's very bland. The use of ...

Wow, those pics of Australia are soo gorgeous! I wanna go. Wah! There's an America's Wonderland. Ick. I bet Canada's Wonderland is way better :P (Actually, they're probably about the ...

It's not always necessary to have a consistant rhyming scheme, but in this case, it didn't really do anything for the poem. Another thing that might make it better is ...

I really don't get this. You're use of language is really good, but it's way to vague. Who is the narrator in this, and who is this mysterious "you". Very ...