Rei

Far too short. I can tell it's heart-felt and very real. But what it needs is for you to explore the realtionship a little more. Use images and metephore, give ...

YAY! More Star Wars geeks who write novels. Welcome and bievenue my fellow creator of things people think are made-up, but really do exist.

I absolutely love Schindler's List! But it's too bad he had to make such a sad WWII movie before he got his Oscar. He deserved it long before that. This ...

I seriously hope brad doesn't come in here and start yelling at us for making fun of his boy friend.

It's good that you keep trying because you CAN write. I like this muchly and have no comments to make.

You mean toxins. Toxic is an adjective. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Sorry. That first line really turned me off. Whether you are or not, an opening line like that makes it sound like you're just copying Frankenstein.

I'd tell you, but I don't know what an orpin is.

Not bad. You just gotta accept ot for what it is befor eyou read it. (And ignore liz when she uses the word cliche. She calls almost everything on this ...

Yeah, very forced, with absolutely no rhythm. Very bland, and uninteresting.

I actually got my prom dress at a thrift store. After paying $60 for the ticket, I had almost no money left.

Yes, of course orbins. What's an orbin?

It's very bland and uninteresting. At the very least, you should have some sort of motive for why your character did what he did.

You're all utterly bonkers.

Not bad. I definitely think it's a good start, but felt that you could do more with it, and expand on the concept. The repetition was the only thing I ...