Rei

I'd say that this is a good skeleton for something bigger. Expand on it, use images and mataphores, etc.

I think he's both. Spilt personalities are fun.

It's good to be weird. I mean, why would you ever want to be normal?

Well, I'll consider it if more people say I should.

That's partly because I skipped some chapters. Didn't really feel like posting them. I wasn't even going to post this part until I read it at a library event and ...

Comments please? :(

Put a nickle in a pickle and buckle in for a tickle.

That's it. Yoshi's lost it. Let's pump him full of drugs and hope for the best.

Muse has a goat?

Well, I don't say you suck. Definitely a decent piece of work for a bit of insomniac ramblings.

First of all, you need to divide the paragraphs properly. It's a real eyestrain when reading big clumps like this on the computer. Second, you need a new way of ...

I don't want to repeat what's already been said, so I've got two points to make about this. First is that you didn't get all the corrections nicklepickle pointed out, ...

*shrugs*

Nice, but there were a few lines that just did not make any sence to me, like "math me apart like a baby bird". I really did not get that.

It felt like you were too eagar to get the story going. In your first paragraph, you tell us that this is a story with vampires. That sets up certain ...