Rei

There is a potentially good story here. You've got exposition in all the right places, and the pace is good. However, and there is no nice way to say this, ...

Oh yeah. My books certainly write themselves. With A Different Kind of Goblin, I know what I want to include, and have particular scenes in mind. But if you as ...

^ Said something nice about The Pastel Unicorn

Opening with a history lesson, however short, is usually not a good idea. In this case, it could be better, but I think it works. You just need to explain ...

Thanks. In the next chapter is where we properly understand why she is the way she is, and what started the bullying in the first place.

"We don't want the TV script good. We want it on Tuesday." Can't remember who said it, but I can probably find out.

^ Is still unofficial in her YWS status (Mind leaving an opinion, Sam? You're about the age it'll be marketed to if it's published. That is if I ever finish ...

I entered this into a monologue-writing contest. What do you think my chances are?

Yeah, the word grey is overused, but I liked it. Didn't seem too mushy. The tone was just right, and so was the length. The character was strong and I ...

Pretty darn good. Got my attention right away. Style is unique, and works really well. I love the sentence fragments. Really makes it feel like you're inside the character's head.

^ Is quite mysterious to me (Naw, they wouldn't use dollar bills because our dollar is in coin form.)

^ Posted a link to a website.

^ Says I love sheep

Any "What happens next" predictions are welcome, as well as what I can do to make this chapter better. The first place Emily wanted to go once they got to ...

^ paka