RayneChild

Okay, well, Anijumper got most of them, so I'll just do the rest: Stopping at the front of the school under the plat formed roof protected from the cold beating ...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'll fix those... *hurries off to fix story* Thanks! ~Rayne

A couple months later, after I had finished off all of the shepherd’s sheep - and all of the shepherd - I walked back to the village to see if ...

EDIT: I changed it from 3rd person POV to first person. Let me know if I missed anything! Thanks! The next morning, my alarm clock rang at 7:00. I lazily ...

Okay...This is a contest entry. Well, for now at least. When the contest is over, I'll edit this part out. But for now...it's my entry n_n You can still critique ...

Wow! This was really good! For a moment there, I forgot that it was only the prologue! It has so much detail and so much info (in a good way) ...

I thought it was wonderful! I think everything flowed very well together, and the storyline so far is very good, in the way that the reader knows the fantasy aspect ...

Well, I don't know if you know or not, probably not, but I hate Naruto, so I don't know what kind of goodness will come out of this, but I ...

Fabulous!!! I loved it! You used excellent word choice and I can clearly picture all of your characters. The only thing was a few typos here and there, but other ...

Pretty good. I think the other comments exaggerated how many times you used her name. Yes, it was a bit overused, but not as much as what everyone says it ...

Thank you all for your advice! It's amazing to see how many mistakes I actually made... But I fixed them all! ^^ OMG Carzyl, you were soo right! I used ...

Oh...Now I remember reading this part! I think you e-mailed it to me. Either that, or I read it off your computer. Anyway, for the first time, I have a ...

EDIT: I changed it from 3rd person POV to first person. Let me know if I missed anything! Thanks! Also. If you're going to review saying "Omg this sucks fix ...

I loved it! Absolutely fabulous! Excellent word choice. It paints such a better picture in your mind when it is better described. The whole time I was reading it, the ...

Heehee... I like it! When you showed it to me the first time, this was all you had. I'm assuming you have more now...? Good job!!! ;)