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Re: Tesseract - Chapter 7
Very good indeed. The plot chance is great and unexpected. Keep up the good work. Some remarks on your sentences She nodded and mumbled some things, they sounded like spells ...
Mar 14, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 6
Hi Aliepalie, Again a great chapter! It really captivates! I wan't to know how it continues. A looked away. Not quite sure what to make of this sentence. It's a ...
Mar 11, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 1
Hi Aliepalie, A few more comments on the first story I awoke to a ringing sound of my phone. Half asleep I reached for it, my eyes still closed. I ...
Mar 11, 2011 -
Re: Sharks: When the Predator Becomes Prey
I read an article whether or not the English language is sexist or not. I guess it is. But not just the English language is sexist, sharks are too! Why ...
Mar 4, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 5
He said hushed -> He said in a hushed voice/tone. Why the double dots .. all the time? It’s is a bit confusing for me, the reader. Three times ‘girl ...
Mar 4, 2011 -
Re: Thank You for the Good, Forget the Bad.
J.R.S, A very strong opinion you have here. ‘It seems that in today’s world everyone has to have some belief in religion’ A very personal opinion I suppose, not a ...
Mar 3, 2011 -
Re: Erased
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. After reading it over twice the message starts to surface. A very strong insight into your state of mind before, during and after. I’m ...
Mar 3, 2011 -
Re: Special
Hi Waywardbird, A very nice poem with carefully chosen words. There are few words I contemplate about. Not being native I wonder about the meaning of a motley soul. Is ...
Mar 3, 2011 -
Re: Stories are like the ripples on the ocean
Whoever tries to analyse a story through spelling, grammar, genre or style makes a fool of himself. It is like describing a painting by mentioning the colour and location of ...
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: Havisham Dancer
A curious piece, I cannot fully get my mind around, but it is beautifully 'composed'
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 4
Aliepalie, Your story is already giving me the creeps. Wonderful! Again a few remarks on my favourite topic, you know... Aw.. Looks like the weather gods prevented us from leaving..” ...
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 3
One little more remark. …I growled and stepped inside. ‘Great.’ -> ...I growled and stepped inside the house
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 3
Hi Aliepalie, Your work is keeping a good pace and I like how the story develops. Here are some tips for you. Instead of using the word 'looked' all the ...
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: Tesseract - Chapter 2
Hi Aliepalie, Keep up the good work, I like it. I'm curious where this story brings me. Forgive me for providing some remarks, I hope you take it positively. I ...
Feb 28, 2011 -
Re: My father
He was driving home together with his lovely wife and two adorable children, after visiting his parents for a Christmas dinner. Still in a state of shock, he thought about ...
Feb 22, 2011
