Quetseli

It's a well written poem! The only thing I have to say is to remember poems don't always rhyme. Somethings you said confused me, but I understood your purpose. But ...

It's a lovely poem! Really sweet. I like the ending where it turns to a happy but suspicious note. If the title is pending I can give you a title, ...

This is well written! the only mistake I found was at the end where you said "braking glass" instead of "breaking glass". But other then that, you described things well ...

This is real good, actually! You described things very well and did a lot of relating, it stood out. Good job, I want to see chapter one! Keep it up!

Its a good start I'll tell you that. I'm not the best a poetry, so someone may coming in correct anything I missed. X3 But just remember that poems don't ...

That was a very interesting chapter. The end was surprising and you can tell now where he lost some of his insanity. It's good, but I believe you need to ...

I would be a good, short song if it were real. It sounds more like a poem though. :3 Because it makes me twitchy, you have to capitalize those words ...

I think it's a wonderful poem. It sound like you're describing the flaws of humanity in a way. But if you were to continue, say something about hidden truths or ...

Thsi is a lovely poem! I think the title is fine. I'm not the greatest title creator, but this is my suggestion X3: Thinking Through Heart. I don't know, but ...

This is so very well done. I'm impressed. It's a moving piece of work with many different emotions caught in it. Lovely, lovely work. Keep it up!

This is real good! I felt like I was reading this from some poetry book instead of from an online site. X3 It has a good story to it and ...

You did much better in this chapter! You described things and let your character think more deeply, and it helped more with the mental image. Good job! Now, the only ...

I think it's fine. The only thing I would work on is to be more descriptive about your characters and their surroundings. It would help the mental image and probably ...

I'm not the one to judge anime, mostly because I never drew it before, but I think it's fine. It's their hair that throws me off. The girl's hair in ...

Very well done! The rhyming and everything was perfect! I love happy poems, they always make me smile. And this one did. :3 Keep up the great work!