PrincessOfDarkness

“Hoist the sails!” The Captain cried, spreading his arms wide, “Heave ho!” I clambered up the rigging and set to work, with a chorused yell of, “Aye, aye Cap’n!” “Put ...

Lidz ¬ Wolf charged up stairs, followed by Rain. I heard him slump to the floor, and a horrible sizzling noise. I rushed upstairs to find Wolf and Rain unconcious, ...

Well, we changed the fact Leo was so close :D

Changed my post :D

Lidz ¬ I cowered next to Wolf, his hand on my arm dragging me further under cover. The black bolts flew from the sky. I pushed Wolf out of the ...

Lidz ¬ "That's really cool," I said, stopping so I could stay in line with them. "I wish I travelled.. my... my town, when they realised I could control ... ...

(OOC: I like the idea of a bad guy, and the idea that he might play "games" with the elementals. It's a really good idea :D)

Lidz ¬ "Hey. What's up? You look nervous," I turned and looked backwards. A girl had dropped back to talk to that guy. He was called Wolf, I remembered. He ...

You needed to add a comma, and capitalize Mommy and Daddy, and 'pedals' should be 'petals'. :D Otherwise, it was great!!!

Same!!!!!!! xD

Aaaaah. I see. OK! I will see about changing that :D

Oh! I really like it! It flows, but I like the fact it is all in one. :D Keep Writing! Princess of Darkness Read Some Of My Stories! Poems!

Aaaah. I see what you mean. :D It was supposed to get faster paced, but how do you mean "Clear it up?" :D Yes, and I will beat you! Mwahahahahaha! ...

If you corrected some errors, this would be good. But I think it needs more detail.

I didn’t understand. I was ... I was on my street! How? Somehow, nothing made sense. Everything seemed unrealistic and blurry. I looked at the scene around me. Two men ...