Pippiedooda

Hi :D I read the first part of your story but forgot to review the revised one :oops: sorry! Anyway, I like where you are going with this! You have ...

Hi me again :D I like this chapter! Its quite short (which makes it easier to review :P) but I like how you are switching between Jackson and Jayson's perspectives, ...

Back! Right here come the nitpicks :D I think Medowlark and Dudette covered a lot of them and I agree with the points they have made, but I have a ...

Hi :) sorry I did just do a review that I took over an hour on then I pressed a button and it deleted everything so right now I am ...

I don't see why you weren't sure on this part, I thought it was great! I love the sense that Lily is getting closer to finding out what is going ...

Hi asxz! I was wondering if you could review some of the latest parts of my story? Its gotten quite long but I noticed you reviewed some of the earlier ...

Hi me again :) Sorry it took me so long to get round to reviewing this part! Carrying the girl in his arms through over the threshold of the temple ...

Let me know what you think! :) I'm not too happy with this one :( All reviews are welcome, I really think I need some help in going over my ...

Hi! :D I haven't reviewed the second part but if you like I can? I did like this chapter, I think you could make some adjustments to keep the excitement ...

Hi me again :) I really like the changes you have made! Definite improvement, I can visualise the conversation loads more and the movement between different sets is much less ...

This was really good! I'll try and review as best I can but really there isn't a lot to improve, I am really curious as to what is going to ...

I'm back :D I don't understand why more people aren't reviewing this :? Even though not a lot of action happens in this one you're adding more to the mystery ...

:(! That's so unfair!! I feel awful for you, I wouldn't have thought this was real from the sound of it, it just sounds too unlucky and cruel. I hate ...

anyone want a review? ;)

I know this is more gruesome but I actually really liked it, I agree with the comments Nutty made but shall also go through some more of my own :) ...